i think my mom watched the whole time
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
