ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
