Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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