the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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