if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
