nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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