it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
