She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
