I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
