Your face is a jimmy john
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize