Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
