i dont even know how to be here
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
