with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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