you guys were way drunker than both of me
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize