I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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