dude i'm inner monologue high
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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