So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
