a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
