Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
