At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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