She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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