in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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