I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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