Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
