Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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