i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
