i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
