So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
