can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
