Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
