you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
