I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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