my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
