FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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