I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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