We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize