i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
