I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
