so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
