i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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