i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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