ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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