this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
True strength comes from lack of pants
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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