This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
