So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
