Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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