me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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