Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
