u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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