with your own penis?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
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