In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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