I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
