i just sent this text using only my big toe
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
