Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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