Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
