sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
