and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I look excited, but its just a facade.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
