Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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