She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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