Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
