dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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