So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
