whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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