eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
