so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
