Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.

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(801): View more from Utah

when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i have an important question...can you drink in jail?

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(773): View more from Illinois

Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.

(517): View more from Michigan

Who is this?

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(404): View more from Georgia

We still on for Manwhore Monday?

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