This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
