Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
