hotel room ftw
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
