so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize