I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize