why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
