no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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