Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
