the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
