Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
