I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize