I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
