i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize