dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we're making bets on your personal life
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
